You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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