my sisters under your porch take her home
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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