You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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