i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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