I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
