Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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