That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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