his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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