Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
