9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she peed on how many people?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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