1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Say something about gay babies.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
