What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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