We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
