Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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