just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside