Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction