He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?