i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.