I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Randomize
