I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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