If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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