girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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