Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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