what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
