this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
