Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
