So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
