New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
