even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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