ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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