The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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