I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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