Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
