Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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