oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
