Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
