What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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