She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
