well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
