omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
