I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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