we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
