Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
