Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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