First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
