she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
