We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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