there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
