Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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