how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
