I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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