Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
