He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
