Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize