I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
