Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
