Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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