Barsexuality is the new black.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
