dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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