omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I died a long time ago.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
