Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
only if we run a train.
done.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
