I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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