and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i will never coherently bang her
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
