Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
