OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
