i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize