before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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