it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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