32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
