I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
