shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
