Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
