I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
