what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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