Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
